Watch out world! Here I come!

Yesterday was my first day back in the gym in over a week. So Erin, you might be asking, how did it feel? And the answer, my friends, is GREAT! It felt great to be back in the gym. I had to control myself and not overdo it. It just felt good to be in the zone, make my body do what it can do. To understand that I have control over how and what I want to improve and how I will be getting there.

I also just finished reading Apolo's book Zero Regrets (in just 3 days!) and I'm now highly motivated. I know what I want and I'm going to go get it! I will do all I can to become the person I really want to be. I have more direction now than I have in a long time. Probably since I decided I would do a figure competition, about 19 months ago. I have two very main goals in mind and I have to do some research to see how exactly to make sure those come to fruition. One may not be possible and I probably won't know for for sure until the end of this year. But the other one is definitely possible and it's just a matter of finding the path that will get me to that destination. It's just awesome! I feel the fire in my belly and I can't wait to get started. I'm sorry not to share my goals with you but I don't want outside opinions to douse my inner fire. I'm sure you all understand. But believe me, as my dreams/goals shape into realities you will most certainly be made aware of them and learn my battles/struggles and accomplishments/successes along the way.

As I was reading the book I kept thinking about why recently I haven't had the motivation that I had during my contest prep and then it became abundantly clear to me that I didn't have big enough goals for myself. I didn't have anything that was scaring the hell out of me and exciting me at the same time. I think without that fear that I, personally, don't have the motivation necessary. I want to be able to say that I have done all I can to reach my goals no matter what. I'm sure I will trip, stumble, and fall but I'll get up again, learn many things along the way about myself, others and life in general. I have fear of my goals and that is PERFECT! I can't imagine a better way to live. It's the reason I had a highly successful contest prep. It didn't matter how I placed, my goal was to get to the stage and do my first figure competition ever at the age of 43. My goal was to push myself physically into a state I never had before. I now know that if I can do that at 43 there are many more things I can do. Absolutely! No doubt about it!

As I get older, I tend to limit myself thinking that I can't start a career path at this age! That's insane. What if it doesn't work? What if I don't succeed? What about how much older I'll be if I go to school or spend that time getting a certification, education? I'll be how old?!? Nearing 50? And just starting a new career? What am I thinking? And what about the money? How is THAT going to work out? But not any more! Now I must think that I will and can and I have to find the path to do it. So with all that fuel I am going to find a way to make MY dreams come true, to make MY life the absolute best I can make it so that when I get to the end of my life I can say that I did the best I could. I made the best life possible for ME with the tools I had and the will only I possess! It's up to me. No more sitting on my laurels. It's MY TIME!!!

So like I titled this post, watch out world because here I come! The new and improved Erin! The person I was destined to be is starting to take shape right now...right here! You'll see and hopefully I will only serve as inspiration to those that want to chase their dreams regardless of their age!

“The age of a woman doesn't mean a thing. The best tunes are played on the oldest fiddles.” 

~Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.” 

~Mark Twain

“Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty. Anyone who keeps learning stays young. The greatest thing in life is to keep your mind young.” ~Henry Ford