Be Proud!

I think I forget this often. I forget to look at my life from a standpoint of pride. I've done a lot for myself and gotten far on my own. I've taken good care of myself most of the time. When I really don't like myself very much I really need to review all I should be proud of. And lately the not liking myself thing is a little overwhelming. And I used to always get mad at friends if they were talking badly about themselves and then I find myself doing it. It's terrible. Really bad. I caught myself doing it this morning. Not good. So I need to be proud. Walk tall. Puff out my chest. You know how you walk when you have pride in yourself - shoulder back, chest out, head held high, pulling out of the top of your head, light on your feet. Somewhere along the way I lost that - now shoulders are rounded, belly protruded, sinking into my hips and low back, etc. I need to remember that my body may not be where I want it to be but a lot of other things in my life are where I want them or are better than I expected.

I need to be proud of what a good person I am and how much I care for the ones I love. I need to be proud of myself for making it on my own in a crazy city like Los Angeles. I need to be proud of the fact that I'm an excellent cook. And just yesterday when I was at the gym I remembered to be proud of my athleticism, that I can pick up most sports and/or dance and get fairly proficient at them. Yes, these are all things to be proud of and I forget to be. I just don't do it. And why shouldn't I? If my friends did some of the things I do I would be really proud of them. Why forget about yourself? So I say for this week be proud! Be proud of who you are. Walk like you're proud and talk like you're proud. Because if we lose our pride, what do we have left? Not a whole lot.

On another note, last weekend I went to see "Bring It On: The Musical" and I just about died laughing. It was so funny and great fun to watch. I loved that movie because it epitomized high school cheerleading. I would know. I was one. It was just hysterical. It was really funny. I love to enjoy things like that. I love musicals and haven't been to enough lately. I actually enjoy most theater. It's just fun for a change and better than a movie.

As for my workouts I keep doing more and more yoga but I'm still doing weights, just not as often because it's hard for me to do something like, say, work out my back and then do yoga the next day. That's too hard for me. And even leg workouts and then trying to hold a position like Warrior 1 or Warrior 2 in yoga is just way to hard if you're sore already.

Warrior 1

Warrior 2

Yeah, when you're already shaky shaky, not so much. I know the idea is to breathe through it but I guess I'm just not there yet. So I've been on with my cardio and yoga but weights I'm only doing twice a week and not 3.

I've also been staying up too late so I need to get back to my early sleep. I'll write more soon. I just wanted to post this since it's been sitting in my drafts for a while now. NaNoWriMo is kinda kicking my butt and I haven't even been writing enough there either. At any rate, big changes are in store for me over the next couple of weeks with my workouts, mentality, eating, etc. I'll keep you posted all about it but don't be surprised if there's little to no posting over the next couple of weeks until I'm done with my novel! LOL!

Hope all of you are doing well and are ready for the holiday season to be in full swing. I know so many people hate/dislike the holidays but I LOVE them! I love Thanksgiving because it's fun and there's not much to do but enjoy it. Make foods I love to make, food coma my way through watch football, and hang out with the ones I love. And then it's Christmas time - over a week off of work and lots of family fun time and laughter and just good times had by all. Not to mention games! I LOVE games! And sledding. And hiking in the snow. I'm not a big present person but I do love to make my caramels and other treats. I'm thinking of baking some breads this year for a change. Nice to have something savory instead of sweet for a change. Hmmm...I'll let you know. I also like to make beaded ornaments when I have a chance. If I do I will have to take photos because they are COOL! But buying gifts? I'm not a fan. I would rather receive a homemade gift or even a fantastic card any day over a store bought gift. It's just my preference. So, holidays? BRING 'EM!!! Haha!

My take on my experience

So, I posted the Play by Play and now I will let you know how it all went down for ME, how I felt and what I thought of my experience of my First Figure Competition.

As my day started out I was tired. I got very little sleep the night before, going to bed around 11 or so and then awakened at 2 till 4 and then slept about an hour and then awakened again and then slept about 1 more hour. I woke up feeling good and excited but not great. As my morning progressed I felt better and better and more and more excited about stepping on stage.

When I arrived at Gina's hotel to meet with her and get my hair done I was starting to get pumped and feeling a little free/silly! Gina instantly said "we need to feed you". So I got some more food in my system ASAP. Traci did my hair which I love having done and it looked amazing!! I saw Gina on my way out of the room and got a pep talk from her and was ready to hit the stage. I was still not nervous, just excited. I went to the venue and met up with Kim (another of Gina's girls) and went through the athlete brief. Even then I wasn't nervous. I got sprayed, made up, and hair touched up as well as eating more and I was ready to hit the stage. STILL not nervous, just excited really. I guess excited and overwhelmed. Thank goodness I had some veterans to help me out or I would have been lost! It's weird how unprepared I was mentally for the backstage final touches. Then they called us out of the dressing room. We gathered in one hall and then we walked to the other side of the stage where we were going to enter. We're standing there in line ready to go and right before they call us on stage the competitor in front of me decides that she needs some Bikini Bite for her suit since her boobs are WAY too huge (oh I'm sorry...in her words "my top is too small")!!! Yes, this right before we're going to step on stage. Well, that's when my nerves kicked in...waiting for someone to find some Bikini Bite for her and then her having to apply it and then wait briefly for it to dry. It just didn't help the nerves at all! So there I was ready to go on stage and then I started shaking from nerves. If I had gotten to step on stage right at the time we were supposed to be called I wouldn't have been so nervous but that's not how it went. So when I finally walked out on stage I was shaking like a leaf!!! Luckily no one in the audience could tell and I still nailed all my poses just like I was supposed to do. Even with my shaking and crazy nerves I managed to feel GREAT about my presentation. It was fun and exhilarating.And then it was over...lickety split!!

Then it was backstage to wait. It was fun backstage with all the other girls and just the underlying current of excitement. There were some fun girls back there and it was just funny to listen to everyone. After a couple of hours I was back onstage again. I was definitely not as nervous as the first time but then I also didn't get to pose again, just walk out and stand basically and then up for comparison. I knew I didn't make the top 5. At that exact moment, when I knew I wasn't in the top 5, I was surprised/shocked and disappointed. I'll be honest. It's a lot of work and when there are only 7 girls in your class and you're not one of the top 5 it's kind of frustrating and maddening...ESPECIALLY when you know your posing was much better. I really believe that there should be better judging criteria for Figure. There should be deductions for things like 1) not posing correctly, 2) walking like you're doing Bikini, 3) not smiling, 4) being TOO muscular, etc. As stated on the website "The judges are looking for the best package of symmetry, stage presence, overall skin tone and femininity." Well, I definitely think in my competition that they overlooked the femininity side of it!! LOL!!!

So I returned to the dressing room and then headed out to the audience to meet all my FANTASTIC supporters!! It was so great to see all those familiar faces and just to hear them being so excited for me, my journey and my experience! I was lucky to have a VERY big group of supporters and they had made my time on stage even better so THANK YOU THANK YOU to all of you that not only showed up but showed me your VERBAL support!!! You are all AWESOME!!!!!

Then it was back home for some R&R and reflection. While at home I mulled over the fact that I knew I wasn't top 5 and also had no idea where I had landed in the Masters. I just became okay with it. As I said in my previous post, I brought the best possible me and did everything I could so if I couldn't have done any better then I just had to resign to the fact that this is a subjective sport and where the judges place you doesn't indicate your journey or your own personal growth. After that I could finally sleep and that I did for a little bit. When it was time to get ready to return for Finals I was NOT amped at all. But I went there anyway and just looked forward to hanging out with friends and family afterwards.

I got to the venue and met up with Kim again and also got to meet her mom. Then we went in and watched some of the bodybuilding before heading backstage. They were moving the show along quickly and I was out on stage again before I knew it. I knew most of my supporters weren't there though because it was so much earlier than I thought it would be. No problem. I still went out there and did my thing, got my photos and then it was offstage again. Back in the dressing room I went. Then sitting and waiting and sitting and waiting. I think in those 2 hours I grew a lot!! A LOT OF PATIENCE!!!!!! That was a pain in the neck and honestly I was kind of ready to just bolt and not even worry about making my final appearance where I would just walk across stage, wave and then stand some more while others did their model poses. It just didn't seem worth the wait. Here is where they need to make another change. The Finals are way too long and you already know who's in the top 5. So to me, why make all the non-winners wait around for hours to do nothing? They should just have everyone from every class in every category make their final appearance and then at the end have the top 5 and award trophies then. It just seems silly. Hmmm....well, actually I still would have had to wait around though because I did get 4th place in my masters group. Oh well. Anyway, it's just a thought.

So after it was all said and done these are my thoughts on the experience and answers to questions I've been asked:
Q: Will you do another one?
A: Not right now but maybe someday

Q: Did you have a good time?
A: Yes! It was a lot of fun the first and even second time on stage. But the Finals oddly weren't much fun at all and kind of a drag. To be honest, I didn't really care for the finals and was really ready to go home after going out for my Masters category. It's a long day and really loses its excitement when you go home, settle down and then have to get all amped up again for the Finals.

Q: Will you continue with your regimen?
A: Yes and no. I will continue to eat clean and continue to find new recipes and fun food that make my maintenance enjoyable. I will continue to train with weights and I will continue with cardio. I will decrease my amount of cardio and weight training though. I will take many of the tools I learned from my experience/journey and put them to use every day. So yes, I will continue it as far as doing all similar things but the reins will be loosened and I will be able to enjoy it all a lot more. I can incorporate activities I love and keep a lot more variety in my workouts AND food and that will keep me happy!

In summary, I enjoyed my journey to the stage IMMENSELY!!! I'm extremely proud of what I have done, setting my goal and NAILING it!!! I've met some amazing people along the journey that I'm very grateful for. I have a sense of self that I have never had before! I know I can accomplish anything I put my mind to. I love to cook and it's fun to find new ways to have the foods I love! I am more aware than ever of where I want my life to go now and what's important to me. I am very glad and grateful for the experience of stepping on stage and I enjoyed it in general. I would say to all that whatever your dream, whatever big goal you have, just go for it!! MAKE IT HAPPEN!!

THANKS AGAIN TO EVERYONE FOR ALL THE SUPPORT I HAVE RECEIVED HERE AND ELSEWHERE!!!

Monday! Yay! Monday!

Ahhh...feeling refreshed after my weekend. Thank goodness for that! Last week was tough, tough, tough!!! I can't even explain it because I honestly thought it wasn't going to be that tough for me but it was. But I pushed through. I did hours on the stepmill and just a little on the treadmill - all tolled it was 620 of the 630 minutes of cardio I was supposed to. And of that 620 I had only 93 minutes on the treadmill so that was 527 minutes on the stepmill!!! Well, now that I write it like that I feel QUITE accomplished!!! Hmm...I just put my OWN feather in my cap!! LOL!!

Like I said today has started out very well. I slept fairly well. My neighbor's were being "boys" but that's okay. I managed to drown them out with my lovely Brookstone Sound Machine. I love that thing when sleep is necessary. It will drown out anything and not keep me up with disturbing noise. For example last night I listened to the ocean waves. So peaceful and relaxing.

I got my plan for the week from Gina yesterday and guess what I get this week? Yes, 3 weeks out and I get STEAK!!!! And my favorite spelt flakes!!! Yummy! It's going to be a great week! Can't wait. Also I got decreased cardio so this week will be just 540 minutes! What do you think of that?!? I think it's great!!

So I did my 45 minutes cardio this morning - 15 minutes on incline treadmill then 30 minutes on the stepmill - 15 minutes level 9 and 15 minutes level 10.

Meals so far:
1) SEVEN egg whites pancake topped with oatmeal, Garlic Gold Parmesan nuggets and tomatoes - why is that sooo tasty sometimes? So simple yet so tasty?
2) Spelt flakes with protein powder "milk" made with Paradise Green Tea - again yummy!
3) Salad with kamut, wild rice, and tilapia and a dressing of just salsa mixed with red wine vinegar
Still to eat:
4) Fish, chicken or shrimp (haven't decided) stir fry
5) Salad with chicken and a yummy dressing (I think - haven't tried it yet so I'll post if it's good)
6) Steak, mashed cauliflower and some mushrooms - possibly more salad...hmmm...we'll see
7) Egg white omelet

Hope you're all off on the right foot for the week!! I can't wait to see how this unfolds. In a much, much better place. I have to give some personal thanks here because I just feel the need so THANKS  to...

• Kim for letting me know I'm positively impacting her life and motivating her to make a change and improve her own life.
• Angel for letting me know that my blog really helped her pass her exam to become a PA, commenting on how positive my blog is, and also for your support of my journey - our lunchtime phone chats had been so helpful until you had to go out and find gainful employment! ;-)
• Claudine and Angela and all of Gina's fitness network for your constant comments and support of my journey both here and on Gina's site
• Iris for her support, fresh veggies and herbs from her garden and constant pick me up when she finishes her workout and is leaving the gym
• My family for their understanding and support
• Deb for her support of my goal and constant praise and level-headedness
• Nikee for her knowledge and sharing her 1st time journey to the stage thereby making it much easier for me to know if what I'm experiencing is "normal"
• Gina, of course, for her constant wisdom, support, friendship, and professionalism - you are UNBELIEVABLE!
• Mary for her fine chiropractic/massage/active release skills that have helped me fine tune my shoulder and rid myself of the dreaded "wing"!!
• Traci for that much needed text last Friday to help me DIG DEEP!!
• All my friends, in general, for being understanding and supportive of my major goal no matter how odd or weird it may seem to you!!

I'm sure there are others that I may have forgotten but you definitely know who you are and I appreciate all of you and all the support I have gotten! It means the world to me. Truly! You are all so wonderful and I couldn't ask for better support! THANK YOU!!!!!

Gratitude helps you to grow and expand; gratitude brings joy and laughter into your life and into the lives of all those around you. ~Eileen Caddy

Wow! Wednesday already - 5 1/2 weeks!!

So on Gina's website yesterday she wrote about making choices. About choosing to hit that snooze button vs. getting up and getting your day going. I was thinking that it's not often that I hit that snooze. Well, guess what?!? This morning I literally hit the snooze 4 times before I even realized my alarm had EVER gone off. So was that a choice? If it was, it was completely subconscious!! Way way down I KNEW I needed more sleep! So, needless to say, I was late to the gym but that's okay. I still got in and got it done - 40 minutes fasted cardio. The breakdown today? 20 minutes stepmill level 9 then 20 minutes treadmill 4.6 and 15% incline the entire time. I had a great workout and felt great which I thought was weird because I thought I would be mad at myself for oversleeping but I wasn't. Yeah for me!!

The rest of the day played out as usual and I finished up going back to the gym and doing another 40 minutes - 5 incline treadmill 4.4 and 12% incline then 30 minutes stepmill, level 10 then back to treadmill 4.6 15% incline for the last 5. Not bad at all. I actually had a lot of energy and wanted to do my bike sprints but there was a spin class so I couldn't and it was getting dark out so I couldn't do my skate sprints either! Oh well. I stretched and went home, only to head out to the grocery store later because I don't have enough eggs to last me through Friday night. A girl's GOT to have her eggs ya know!!

Here I am staying up too late again. I was definitely going to get to bed early tonight. Is that happening? Hmm...I think not! I just had to do an entry today though to thank all of you that continue to be so supportive of my journey and my blog. THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!!! I'm continuously amazed at how much I'm inspiring and motivating people. It's so exciting to me and uplifting. I never knew this journey would be such a HUGE period of growth. And you all help me each day grow more and more. It's so nice to give back half of what I'm getting!

The other reason I wanted to be sure to blog today is because next week I'm going to do my first giveaway!!! I'm so excited. I had written to the company last week requesting a giveaway and this afternoon after my workout I had an email granting my wish so I'll put that up on Sunday night or Monday morning so be on the lookout!! So excited!

Meals were good, if a little odd, today:
1) Bruschetta Breakfast Pizza
2) Chocolate Protein Cake with oatmeal in it - can't decide if I like it better with oat flour or cooked oatmeal - the cooked oatmeal makes it more like a chocolate pudding and the oat flour makes it more like fudge
3) Fish with homemade salsa (thanks Iris!) and what was supposed to be brown rice couscous but it had spoiled so it was 2 rice cakes instead but they were good and cucumbers and red peppers on the side
4) Erin's Sweet Tart Rhubarb Shake and another rice cake but this time with 1 T almond butter (creamy raw unsalted) - yes, I AM loving this meal!!!
5) Garlic Rosemary pork tenderloin and asparagus omelet
6) More pork tenderloin with mashed cauliflower and sauteed mushrooms
7) Egg whites with PB2 and sprinkled with cocoa and Just Like Sugar Baking which is like powdered sugar - good but not great

Well, it's off to bed for me. WAY too late but as they say better late than never!!!! Until tomorrow, put your head down for a little rest and see you here tomorrow!

 

“Gratitude helps you to grow and expand; gratitude brings joy and laughter into your life and into the lives of all those around you.” ~Eileen Caddy (Scottish Writer and Spiritual Leader)

Day of Gratitude and Positive Attitude

So, I can't let this whole bulging disc thing stop me. So I decided the best way to beat the pain is to be thankful for all I have that is going right. So here's my list so far today...and it's ONLY 10:00am!!

• Waking up in a most comfortable bed with a roof over my head
• Sleeping well through the night
• Means to pay for all the things that get me to the gym - gym membership, workout clothes, car, car insurance, gas, workout shoes, water bottle
• Having my physical health to knock out 40 minutes on the treadmill at 4.5-4.6 on 15% incline
• Friends and family and all of you for the support to continue on my journey
• FOOD!! - my ability to cook and cook well
• Breakfast...BREAKFAST...FOOD!! LOL!!
• My job and coworkers
• Life, joy, love, happiness
• Great new goal and journey and again the means to afford to reach my goal
• Gina's member website
• Oh, and WATER of course! Where would I be without that?

 That's it for now. I'm going to continue on with this mode of thinking all day and we'll see where I end up at the end of the day. I feel great so far...

   

“When you are grateful fear disappears and abundance appears” ~Anthony Robbins

Less than 2 weeks till go-time!!

So 2 weeks from yesterday I go into full-on contest prep mode. Apparently it won't be all that different than what I've been doing up to this point. At least that's what my coach says. I believe that's probably true. I'm sure you'll all know all about it since I'll be posting my way through my journey!

First of all, I just got handed a HUGE compliment by a friend of mine that reads my blog. She said "I love your blog. It is very motivational." And to all of you that read my blog, I'm so grateful, really. I just never thought I would really impact people but I can say that I have and I'm really proud of that. You really never know who's life you will impact by something you say or do. That's why you always have to remember to say and do things for yourself that resonate well with you. Otherwise, you may have to answer for your bad decisions later, right? Even my friend sending me that text to let me know, now SHE'S impacted my entire day because compliments always make your day brighter, right?

Since I'm going to my Indo-Row class tonight I didn't have to get up early this morning and head to the gym. Yeah for me! So I had good intentions of still getting up early just to keep with my routine but when the reality alarm (also known as my alarm clock) rang, I realized that I should sleep in a little so I did that, for about an extra half hour. Since I did that though, now I have time to blog on my lunch hour so yeah for me! Still trying to decide if I'm going to do weights tonight after my rowing or not. I'll keep you posted. Rowing is pretty intense but I think I might be able to do both. However, I won't push myself if I can't.

Onto other news, I just found out yesterday that this lovely 405 freeway widening project is going to probably seriously impact where I live for the next TWO YEARS due to this latest news:Sunset Bridge Demolition and Reconstruction!!! I live very close to this and it means there will be a lot of angry and confused drivers cruising through my neighborhood. Aah, the joys of living in L.A.!!!

So, yesterday I had a great workout and was out of the gym in record time, just 45 minutes start to finish! I hit my shoulders hard and I know I've gained some strength in them so that's all good.

4 sets of 12 each:
Shoulder press
Front raise with plate
Side lat raise
Machine shoulder press
Rear delt flies
Arnold press

Over the weekend and last night I made quite a few different and delicious proteins all in my plan. They included crockpot chicken tenders, Thai Shrimp Burgers with Cole Slaw, Asian Pork Tenderloin, and Thai Basil Chicken. Oh, yes, now those are all delicious and all fairly simple to make! I also chopped many veggies to mix with my salad greens from the farmers market. I chopped celery, mushrooms, radishes, cucumbers, green onions, and red bell peppers. And then this morning I got up and made some protein muffins for a couple of days with my new protein powder. I like the new protein powder but it doesn't bake as well as my other one. It's cheaper though so I have to take that into account.

Meals so far today:
1) Chai protein tea, oatmeal
2) Oatmeal w/ Voskos Greek yogurt, agave and cinnamon
3) Salad (from aforementioned mix) with shredded crockpot chicken and strawberries with red wine vinaigrette - okay, you all know I'm not a huge salad fan but I am of this one! It's so delicious with the strawberries and then the tanginess of the vinaigrette...YUMMY! I'll probably have this again tomorrow so I'll take a photo because it's really pretty too!
4) Protein muffins
5) Will be Asian Pork Tenderloin with Mashed Cauliflower
6) Probably Thai Shrimp Balls with slaw
7) Probably protein tea or maybe egg whites...

Wow! My menu looks delicious even to me! Anyone want to come over and eat? Please feel free to join me for ANY of my 7 meals! LOL!

I love the crockpot chicken because it's super easy. I just put the frozen chicken tenders in the crockpot with about 1 cup of chicken broth and turned it on high for about and hour and 45 minutes, stirring them around every 20-30 minutes or so. I pulled some out earlier because I could tell they were already done. You can add any herbs, chilies, onion, garlic, etc. that you would like too. I just made it simple because I wanted to have it for salad. When they are done, remove from the broth to cool. You can just refrigerate or as I did shred with a fork and put in portion size containers. So easy, really!

That about covers it. And my lunch hour is over! Have a great day everyone and I'll catch you later tonight or more likely tomorrow since I have to be in bed on time tonight!!

Thanks Everyone!

Thank you, thank you all for your support of my blog. It's so funny how you think no one is going to care or really want to read what you're doing. I guess you, my blog readers, do care so thanks for your support. I have great friends and family to support me through all this. It's all going to be fairly easy until May 22nd! That's 16 weeks out and when I start what's called "contest prep". But until then I can have some fun and not be extremely strict with diet or workout. I do really well with the diet part. That's fairly easy for me. 7 meals a day seemed overwhelming to me at first but now I want all 7 meals and I'm usually hungry for more! Can you believe it? Lucky for me the veggies are free and I can eat them with wild abandon!

So today I had to get up early to make some protein muffins, cook some pork chops and make meal 1! I did all that and got ready for work and was only 15 minutes late! Yeah for me.

Here's what I ate:
Meal 1: 4 egg whites, 1/4 cup oats, 5 walnuts
2: yam oat blueberry protein muffins
3: 4 oz pork, 1/2 cup brown rice, tomatoes
4: 1 rice cake, 1 T almond butter, protein shake
5: 5 oz chicken, 1/4 cup brown rice, cucumber
6: 4 oz cilantro chicken on salad with jalapeno lime dressing
7: scoop protein - This is yummy! I mix peppermint tea with chocolate protein powder...tastes like chocolate mint!! Tasty! (drinking it while I write even)

Workout:
Shoulder press - 3x15 (15 lbs)
Side leaning lat raise - 3x15 (15 lbs)
Front delt raise - 3x15 (8lbs)
Incline chest press - 3x15 (15lbs)
Pushups on DB's - 3x12
Rear delt fly - 3x15 (10lbs)
Rear delt machine, alternating - 3x15 (85lbs)

45 minutes cardio incline treadmill, 15% at 4.4-4.6

Whew! That was quite a workout. It felt great and I really enjoyed my workout! I took all my supplements. I'll do that list in a later entry. Tomorrow I'll be writing about my "rolling" experiences, new supplement and resistance stretching. Wow! That's a lot! I'm sure you'll all want to tune in for that.

I also fixed it so I believe you should all be able to post comments if you so desire! Thanks again. I'm grateful for all that support me and read my blog. Thanks!!!

“Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.” ~William Arthur Ward (American dedicated scholar, author, editor, pastor and teacher)