Metabolic Damage?

WOW! Okay, this is what I've been thinking and have eluded to in some of my posts. Boy, oh boy, does this hit home? I found this article on Kellie Davis's website Mother Fitness. It's written by Elaine Morales of Not Just a Daydream. In the article there are several links to the "phenomena of metabolic damage". These are the links:

Scott Abel: http://scottabel.blogspot.com/2008/03/well-im-posting-this-up-few-days-early.html
Tom Venuto: http://www.burnthefat.com/slow-metabolism-problems.html
Erik Ledin: http://leanbodiesconsulting.com/blog/metabolic-mind-games-/

The reason this article and subsequent supporting articles intrigued me is because ever since my contest prep, my competition and the months that followed I've had a theory that my metabolism is somewhat destroyed. It has bothered me immensely that I can't seem to grasp what "normal" is and where I should just let my body be. I'm still obsessed with macronutrients and meal timing, eating enough meals and what I should and shouldn't be eating. This has been a HORRIBLE thing for me because I was born a foodie and lived a healthy foodie life for a looooonnnng time before I competed. I would read recipes and if they sounded good I would make them. Now I look at the calories, sugar content, protein, etc. and wonder if I can reengineer the recipe to resemble something with similar calorie and macronutrient counts to what I "normally" eat.

"The desperate need to get back in shape because you don't like what you see can really mess you up and prevent you from ever pulling yourself out of the hole you're in."

I do also want to say though that while reading these articles and I saw myself in a lot of them. My nutrition wasn't whack I don't think. I actually ate quite a bit. But the reality is that I was working out about 3 hours a day 7 days a week for a long long time. That's an extreme load on your metabolism no matter how you look at it. I felt that was the only way but I see from reading there are better ways to do it. And while my calories weren't that low, they were certainly very low for the amount of cardio I was doing. At the time and for several months after I didn't see how it had affected me negatively. Now I do.

A little while ago I wrote about reading a recipe and making it at least once a week, in hopes that I would just be able to enjoy that again. But since I posted that my life has been a little crazy and I haven't really had time for perusing recipes. So in a few more weeks my life will settle down and I will ABSOLUTELY commit to doing this. I need to get back to loving food for food. The other thing that I have decided to do is to give up "sugar free" items. When I bake I use stevia but when I want a sugar free popsicle it's always made with Splenda or sucralose (same thing). And of course there's my protein powder which also has sucralose. Right or wrong, my personal belief on sugar and sugary items (honey, molasses, brown rice syrup, maple syrup, etc) is that it can't be that terrible for you if you're not over-consuming. Actually my take on any particular "whole" food is that it can't be bad for you in moderation. I don't do processed foods really and I don't think they are good for you. I haven't quite decided how I'm going to address the protein powder issue but I may have to do some research for a protein powder that has some form of "natural" sugar. Or just get some plain protein powder and add the flavors I need. Not sure about that yet and obviously have tons of research to do so for now the protein powder will stay in. Or, like anything else, in moderation it may be just fine.

I don't really have an eating plan right now. But I do have a plan to just let some things go. I know what's healthy and what's not. And if you listen, truly listen, to your body, it always always tells you what it needs. It's meant to. That's its job. However, when you do a competition or something extreme as far as working out or changing up your diet, you go deaf to what you need. I haven't totally gone deaf but I have noticed that I have a harder and harder time knowing what I want to eat and when. I used to be really good with knowing what I was craving and I think that all has to do with listening to your body. So my plan is to listen to my body, observe it, stop condemning myself, my eating and my training and to feel...truly feel. Check in with myself often and notice what feels good and what doesn't. Before I eat I will consciously figure out what it is my body is asking for. And then I will give it whatever it's asking for.  There will be no "bad" foods and there will be no calorie or macronutrient counting. There will just be listening, observing, and letting go.

Now while this may strike fear in the hearts of many a figure competitor, it doesn't to me. The main reason being that this is how I used to eat. I would truly listen to my body and it never steered me wrong. I think the fear comes from being left alone in the house with a jar of nut butter. Haha! The truth of the matter is that when you truly listen to your body you don't want to eat a whole jar of nut butter or an entire gallon of ice cream or (in my case) a whole bag of chips or a few orders of french fries. Nope. You don't. It's that simple. How many of you have ever tried this? Did it work for you?

I'll keep you posted on my progress. I know there will be progress. I have no doubts. I can't wait to get out of this world of self-doubt, beating myself up, constantly questioning every single move I'm making. Yes, freedom! That's what I'm looking for. Freedom to feel good about myself, make my own choices, free my mind and grow! So goodbye self-loathing and dissecting my body in my mind. And HELLO to a very HEALTHY HOME for my body and mind. Welcome! This is going to be great.

Whether I will ever compete again or not, I'm not sure. For now my goal is to get my mind back to a semi-normal state, find some balance in my body, eating, training, etc. and just "normalize". And if I want to later, I may compete again. For now that is not my goal.

Congrats to YOU if you got all the way through this mighty long-winded post! Hope it will spark some interest, thoughts, and/or conversation.